Handisex works for people with disability. Whether you have cerebral palsy, Down syndrome, autism or any other obstacle, we have the means and the will to help. Naturally, we take your level of functioning into consideration, but our main focus is your needs – on what you need to obtain a fulfilling love- and sex life.
Sexuality is an integral part of most people’s personality – a basic need of equal importance to any other aspect of being human. Touch, sex, and orgasms release large amounts of hormones, that boost your happiness, reduce muscle tension and stress, and furthermore increase improved sleep. Therefore, there is absolutely no reason why you should be denied such a natural and beneficial part of life.
Browse our list of most common topics, but if you find that your problem is not adequately addressed, feel free to call Asgerbo Persson at +45 30 13 18 11 or Kim Steimle at +45 22 63 60 42 or contact us at: info@handisex.dk
Assisted sex
Handisex assists you and your partner to enjoy sex – to your specific preferences if possible. This may simply be a matter of creating a cozy atmosphere, assisting you wear specific clothing or more complicated issues like placing you in positions that enables you to experience erotic pleasure.
Example of a typical session:
− A conversation appraising your current situation, your desires and needs, and the possibilities.
− Approval of a contract of consent.
− In accordance with your directions, you are assisted into your desired position or positions.
− If by any chance the aid does not have the desired outcome, an alternative is always possible.
− You and your partner have as much time alone as possible.
− At any given time you can take a break or terminate the session.Reflection and analysis of session
− How do you feel now?
− Did the experience live up to your expectations?
− What worked and what didn’t?
− Is there anything we could do differently should you chose to continue?
− Make another appointment if so desired.”The beautiful, erotic experiences we have gained via Assisted sex, is so much more satisfying, than our experience using prostitutes.” Jakob and Thomas
Assisted masturbation
If you are unable to use your hands, the option of using sex toys to masturbate is present. Assisted masturbation differs from prostitution in that the assistant does not participate in the act itself, but rather facilitates the possibility for bodily pleasure. Assistance is available for both men and women and is provided by professionals with relevant expertise, taking ethical codes and mutual agreed ground rules into consideration.
Together we will assess which toys are best suited for you, followed by the assistant placing or fastening the toy in a manner that stimulates correctly, to provide you with enjoyment in as peaceful and private a way as possible. If possible, the assistant will leave the room entirely once determining the toy is functioning adequately – but will remain nearby at all times. Thus being of assistance if you desire to watch erotic movies or pictures, need to stop or need to have the toy adjusted along the way. This is all done carefully, meticulously and safely and always with your needs as paramount focus.Example of a typical session:
− A conversation about you, your sexuality, and the possibilities.
− Approval of a contract of consent.
− With guidance, you choose a sex toy of your liking.
− The assistant places the toy correctly
− You are given as much privacy as possible.
− At any given time you can take a break or terminate the session.Session reflection and analysis:
− How did it feel?
− What feelings did the experience awake?
− Could anything be done differently?
− Did the toy fit?
− Are there other toys you wish to try should you chose to continue?
− Make another appointment if so desiredFinancial support for sexual devices
I Denmark you can apply for financial aid for sexual support devices, in accordance with §100 of the Social Services Act of Denmark, which deals with rules for general aid for support devices and extra expenses related to your disability. It is conditional of the extra cost being a consequence of your disability. There are instances of aid being granted for sexual support devices, but the decision is made on a case-by-case assessment.”By taking advantage of assisted masturbation, I am able to explore my sexuality and become aware of my body and what I like. I also avoid involving my personal caretaker.” Mathilde age 32
Sensual massage
Guidance and counseling are vital, but that alone does not increase your awareness of your body. Many people with disabilities are only touched when they need to be washed, dressed, or when receiving treatment like physiotherapy. It is scientific fact that touch is one of the most important measures for bodily awareness and quality of life in general, and it certainly is no less important if one’s body is subject to chronic tension or spasms. Through a combination of gentle massage and touch, you have the opportunity to explore the enjoyment your body holds – on your own terms and your body’s functioning level.
The sensual massage is administered by Asgerbo due to his experience and training, and can take place in your home or, if you can manage a few stairs, at the Handisex premises in Copenhagen.Example of a typical session:
− A conversation prior to the massage, where we talk about you, your needs, and your body
− Approval of a contract of consent.
− Asgerbo explains the proceedings and together you agree on the boundaries, hence there may be certain areas where you don’t like to be touched, or physically not possible.
− 90 minute full body massage.
Session reflection and analysis:
− How did it feel?
− What feelings did the experience awake?
− Were there areas you didn’t like to be touched?
− Were there areas that felt exceptionally nice?
− Is there anything we could do differently should you chose to continue?
− Make another appointment if so desiredFurther information regarding our sensual massage can be found at www.sensualitetsmassage.dk
”I have never experienced my body so vivacious, beautiful, loved, divine, and sensual. Thank you, Asgerbo, for taking me on the most beautiful journey into my body and mind every time I get a massage.” Mia age 27
Sexual guidance
Sexual guidance is an individual counseling for people whom are confused or simply curious about their body, sex and their sexuality. The advantage of sexual guidance is our ability to create a safe and confidential zone that revolves entirely around you and your situation. The guidance consists of a dialogue between you and either Kim or Asgerbo. We are bound by confidentiality therefore you can with ease reveal what is on your mind at your desired pace.
Perhaps you are in love, and you’re not quite sure how to contact the beloved person. Perhaps you are experiencing feelings of arousal and think about sex, but are not quite sure what to do about it.
Frequently discussed topics:
− How do I meet and attract a potential partner?
− What if I get rejected and how do I reject someone graciously?
− What are erogenous zones and how does my body work?
− When and how do you have sex?
− What is good and bad sex?
− When and where is sex allowed?
− How many kinds of sex are there?
− How do I use birth control?
− What is the hymen? Does it burst and where does it go?
− What if I get pregnant?
− How do I masturbate in a pleasurable way?
− What kinds of porn are allowed?However, there may be completely different subjects, such as body image and self-esteem, or how to feel sexy and attractive in spite of your disability. It is completely up to you. Handisex is bound by confidentiality, so there are no limits to what you can talk about and no taboos.
Sexual training
If you need specific assistance with your sex life, sexual training is an option. Perhaps you need aid learning how to masturbate, both in terms of how to do it so it feels nice without hurting you and where you are allowed to do it without offending other people and thus keeping out of trouble. How sexual training works in practical terms depends very much on what your specific needs are. Perhaps watching a movie, looking at magazines and books, and exploring sexual toys is enough. However, it may also be that you need assistance with how to use your hand or a sex toy. The most important thing is that it works for you within a safe and professional environment.
Before you can benefit from sexual training a document of consent, along with a description of the assistance, must be signed by you or your legal guardian.
If you are unable to contact us yourself, ask your contact person to do so. The most important thing is that you get the assistance you need in a proper way. We recommend that a neutral person directs or supports you during the training. By neutral person, we mean someone who is not employed as your caretaker on a daily basis. It could easily become awkward for you, if the same person who helps and supports you with activities of daily living doubles as the one providing sexual training. In most cases, it would be appropriate to rely on a more neutral person to conduct the actual training. In any case, you and your needs are paramount to us.
Sexual education
In contrast to sexual guidance, sexual education, are group meetings, where we can talk about anything and everything concerning sex, sexuality and love. At first it can be difficult to discuss sex with others – but once we get going it is usually relaxed and a lot of fun. At times staff may need to be present but we do out utmost to arrange it so only you and your peers are present thereby securing the opportunity to speak more freely. As always, we are bound by confidentiality.
Normally we teach both genders together but we also have good results with segregated groups, thus providing an opportunity to discuss those intimate topics that can be difficult to share with the opposite sex.
Overall, we can do exactly as you please regardless of your disability. With people enduring physical disabilities, we often face issues such as:− Finding a partner
− Dating and internet sex
− Feeling attractive and sexy despite your disability
− Sex regardless of limitations
− Myths and prejudices
− The right to sex and a love life
− The possibility of touch and intimacy
− Masturbation and sex toys
− Sex with a partnerSome of the typical topics and questions we hear from people with mental or cognitive challenges are:
− Finding a partner?
− What if I get rejected and how do I reject someone graciously?
− How do I have sex and what is good and bad sex?
− When and where is sex allowed?
− How many kinds of sex are there?
− How do you use birth control, and what if you get pregnant?
− What is the hymen? Does it burst and where does it go?
− How do you masturbate in a pleasurable way without hurting yourself?
So contact us or ask your caregivers to contact us. Your desires and quality of life are at stake, and only your imagination is the limit.